1 Corinthians 13 - A Backwards Approach

This afternoon I am meditating on 1 Corinthians 13. It is so familiar I forget the richness in Paul's words sometimes.
Today as I think on these words I am reminded of my love for my children. This is the way God has expressed we are to love one another. Although there are times we don't "feel" like loving in this way, we must walk in Truth and obedience to His Word.However, not so long ago God revealed this passage to me in a very different way. Here's what happened:

I remember sitting in my dining room staring at a painting on my wall I had created using these verses. The Spirit began to nudge, I heard the question, "Is this how you love Me?" I had not considered the possibility that not only are we to love others in this way, our reciprocated love for God should take on this image as well. Over the next few days I asked myself, "What does it mean to love God patiently?" My response: It involves waiting faithfully on His timing, in spite of the circumstances and those things which appear to be an inconvenience or frustration. Each phrase held a new question and a new set of thoughts, a new set of truths.
I will never forget the most profound of all questions coming from this experience. "Do you keep a record of My "wrongs"?" What a silly question. God does nothing wrong. And then it hit me - there are things I legitimately believed in my heart He had done wrong. These things fell into a list of "if only's". If only you hadn't let me get raped...If only you hadn't let my grandmother die... if only you had given me a safer place to live... and the list goes on. The Truth: GOD IS SOVEREIGN. HE DOES NOTHING WRONG. Who am I to hold on to this list? So I let it go. Will you let it go? Do you hold a list of "if only's" attached to God's name, or your love for Him? Consider these verses today. Look at them from a fresh perspective.
And, if you have kiddos let me ask you this, how has God taught you to love them in these specific ways? How has He reminded you to be patient, or to keep no record of wrongs?
Many reading this do not have children but are still surrounded by those we are called to love. So, in what ways is God teaching you to love others?

1 Corinthians 13 has been challenging for me today. I hope it's Truth you find as rich as I have. Let me share it with you. If you can read it as though it were the first time, I challenge you to do so.

1 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge ; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous ; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly ; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth ; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails ; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away ; if there are tongues, they will cease ; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part ; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child ; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face ; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three ; but the greatest of these is love.

A response to my Magic Mike Facebook post

In my initial post I was not throwing stones, or placing judgment. I was however asking a question with hopes that those reading would stop and think. So often we are controlled by our emotions, what is popular or even our hormones that we don’t give obedience to God a second thought. (Or a first thought for that matter)

I will say that I was astounded by the responses coming to the defense of this movie, or our freedom in Christ to see this movie. I kept quiet most of the day while working on my paper, but each response had a very deep impact on me personally as I watched you all debate with one another. I do not apologize for my original comment because it was an explanation of the burden placed on my heart from the Lord. However, I will be removing it due to the misleading comments which followed, many advocating for the watching of the movie.

As for the comments which were directed at my character, I have no desire to defend those. If you consider me judgmental or prude, that is your decision.

It is also your decision whether you see this movie, or not. I cannot make the choice for you, nor would I if given the opportunity. This is the joy of free will. In addition, I did not call this sin. I referred to it as unholy, and I maintain my position on the matter.

This was not intended for anyone who does not profess to be a believer of Christ, to walk in accordance with His Truth or live by the Word of God. This comment was for believers who have committed their lives to holiness and for married women in particular who took vows of Holy Matrimony.

When a husband and wife take vows before God, and others they have entered into a Holy Covenant. Marriage is intended to make us holy, more like Christ each day. For some, the release of this movie (and the 50 Shades of Gray series) is an opportunity to practice self-control, a fruit of the Spirit. It is a chance to walk in the way of God and not in the ways of the world.

Our husbands (and future husbands for those who are single) deserve our respect. We cannot un-see any of the images on that screen, and the words from the pages will forever fill our minds. We are called, as believers, to fill our minds with things that are true, noble and God-honoring. (Philippians 4:8)

Many women are devastated by the effects pornography has on their marriages as their husbands peer at women on a computer screen for lust and pleasure. Pornography is destroying Christian marriages and women are left feeling insecure and unloved. The only difference here is the size of the screen and the fact that hundreds of other women are crowding in to see it alongside you. It is disrespectful to your husbands (current or future).

I must ask, why would anyone want to see a man other than their husband in this way? Is there not potential for it to damage the respect we are to show our husbands and leave him to wrestle with insecurities if he does not look like these gentlemen? Furthermore, one comment expressed that women leaving the theater were potentially going home to “jump their husbands”, which is so incredibly disrespectful. Your husband alone should be the object of your desire, not the object upon which you act out your sexual arousal. Psalm 101:3 provides an accurate picture of how we should approach such movies: “I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar. I hate all who deal crookedly; I will have nothing to do with them.” (NLT)

So, what is the point? Why subject your mind to the images on a screen which are clearly unholy, all in the name of entertainment? Why do you want to see this? What makes watching this movie justifiable to so many? Have those who watched it (or plan on watching it) dismissed its ungodliness? Have they somehow convinced themselves that it is okay?

I will say that the blood of Christ covers our sin, and for those who live under grace, we are free from the burden of sin – yet we still sin. In the sixth chapter of his letter to the Romans, the Apostle Paul writes, “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase?” And what was his response? “Certainly not!”  Although we are not brought into salvation through our works, nor kept there because of them, our actions impact our relationship with God, and bring about earthly consequences.

I take this idea of holiness as a calling for all believers from 1 Peter chapter 1. Peter is writing to a group of believers who are experiencing extreme persecution.

Peter writes: “¹³ Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ¹⁴ As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, ¹⁵ but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; ¹⁶ because it is written, “ You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

¹⁷ If you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each one’s work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay on earth; ¹⁸ knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, ¹⁹ but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ.” (1 Peter 1:13-19)

            There is no way to know what this persecution was like for them, but we do know people were being executed just for being a Christian. Such is not the case today. If we take a stand against seeing a movie, or reading a set of books for the sake of holiness, it is very unlikely we will die. We may lose friends, or be less popular but the truth is – not one of those people asking me to participate in these things shed their blood for me. They didn’t give up their son so that I might be free. Only God did that, and what he is asking of me, and of all those who claim His name is to “Be Holy”.

As far as marriage is concerned, it is a holy institution, for those who are in Christ. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled for fornicator and adulterers God will judge.” The Greek word used here for undefiled is ἀμίαντος (amiantos), meaning unpolluted, unstained, unsoiled, undefiled by sin, chaste, and of the worship of God. This word is used 3 times in the New Testament, all to describe the behavior of the Believer.

Once these images have become ingrained in our minds we have no control over when they will resurface. We cannot be sure that in the midst of worship in church or with our spouse that they will not come to mind, defiling the experience.

The truth is, the Enemy seeks to devour (1 Peter 5:7) those who follow Christ, and he doesn’t need any more help.

Open Confession is good for the soul...

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.  - James 5:16

Healing comes through confession.

According to an old Scottish Proverb – “Open confession is good for the soul”. Many leave out that first word – OPEN – because that can be so very uncomfortable. Why air our dirty laundry? Why let others see where we have fallen short or failed one another? Why confess openly when it is so much easier to do privately?

Let me say this – If you are confessing, either openly or in private, PRAISE GOD. A life of confession and repentance is a life that is seeking the will of God. In the verse above, found in James 5, we see that confession to one another brings about healing. As someone who has a heart to become a therapist for ministers, I believe there is great power in confession and reconciliation. So today, I ask you all for forgiveness.

A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a dear friend that basically rocked my world, shattered my self-worth, and convinced me that I did not belong ministering to people at all. The enemy has used that conversation for a number of weeks to chase me out of the will of God. I have sat here basically paralyzed in my relationships and missing the confidence to boldly face the future. I did not want to proceed incorrectly, so I did not move at all. This person was well intentioned and showed a great deal of love for me by a willingness to have this conversation.

The greatest thing that has come from this conversation came in a revelation from God this morning: My relationships are important to me.

It seems simple, but it goes far beyond simplicity. It brings me to my knees, and now my keyboard, asking for forgiveness.

I want our relationship to be right. I want to know that you understand how much I love you, and how dear you are to me. I want you to know that I am sorry for any way that I may have offended you or hurt you.

I want you to know that there are no expectations attached to my advice, and when you seek it I will continue to offer it freely. I want you to know that my home is still always open to you, any day or any hour.

If I moved away and we lost touch, I am sorry. You are valuable to me. I should be more intentional about showing it. And if you moved away and we lost touch, I am sorry for this as well. Please let me know if this has hurt you.

For some, I want you to know that I have forgiven you as well, whoever you are, and for however you may have hurt me. It’s not a big deal. Our relationship is more precious than anything you could have ever done.

But I ask one thing from you – all of you – If you are reading this blog, note, or Facebook message, please be in touch. Let me know how we stand. Let me know if I have offended you, or if our relationship is right. Let me know if you wish we were closer, or in contact more. Let me know how or if I have hurt you or offended you. Let me know if you feel manipulated, or neglected by me. This was never my intention.

The enemy is all over me today, and so I ask that you come alongside me and help me understand the dynamic of my relationships, help me define them so the enemy can no longer use this against me.

I want to be right, before God and with each of you. Know how deeply you are loved today.

Blessings Overflow - Kim

A Little Pre-Marriage Advice (for women)

Just a heads up...this is a bit detailed. And this is only my experience!
Hey Girlie...
I just wanted to give you a little pre-wedding and post-wedding advice.
One week before the wedding:
First, start now drinking lots of water. Stay hydrated, and if you can tolerate bananas, eat some. Because of all the walking around and such you will be doing, leg cramps are a REAL possibility on the wedding night. (trust me) And even the night before!
After the honeymoon:
Second, know the signs of a UTI, this infection, when caught early can be manageable. However, when women start having a lot of sex, a UTI becomes a real possibility too! If it is not caught early enough, it can become VERY dangerous. (again, trust me) No one told me this stuff and I just thought I was feeling puny. Turns out I was almost septic with a major kidney infection. All from having sex!
For Life:
Third, remember that in marriage NOTHING is really a big deal. If it is, you will know it. If your husband does not put his socks in the hamper, it's not a big deal. Just pick them up, praise God for a chance to serve your husband, and let it go. The little things can destroy a marriage if you let them. I have heard myself say many times , "It's not a big deal" and then moved on.
Being married is the most amazing gift we are given (apart from Jesus) and it is to be cherished. But remember this: Marriage is not intended to make you happy. It is intended to make you HOLY. Every day you will have opportunities to serve and love, to forgive and extend grace like Christ. Through marriage you will be conformed to the likeness of Christ. If there is a trial, ask yourself, "How can this make me holy". Happiness is fleeting, and holiness is something worth chasing!

I love you my sweet sister, and I rejoice with you this week.
Blessings,
Kim

True Beauty

When I think about true beauty I am reminded that God calls us, as women, to refrain from adorning ourselves with fine jewelry and clothes. We are discouraged from wearing things that detract from our true beauty, those things often missed hiding behind the bling.

Basically, we need to care for our bodies in a way that says…I respect my body and so must you. I take care to tend to my appearance so that you know I respect my body. I dress in a way that says, I believe that I am beautiful, because God says I am beautiful.

When we walk around, not put together, a sloppy mess or dressed in a provocative way we pass on a message to the world that reflects our lack of care and respect for our bodies. If we do not care about our bodies, why should anyone else. Why shouldn’t men gawk at us when we walk by? We have given them every reason to look at those things we did not take care to cover up.

I do not want to be misleading. I believe that women are beautiful creations whether they are wearing sweatpants and no make-up or decked out in pearls and an evening gown. It is just my prayer that a woman who takes care to attend to their appearance will do so because of the respect she has for herself, not because she wants attention. I also hope those who do not put effort into their appearance would consider their motives as well. Is it laziness? Is it a poor self-image?

Remember, we are created in the IMAGE of God. Let his love be what people see when they look at look. It will make you RADIANT. It will make you BEAUTIFUL.

Coffee Cup Hangers!

So, I have created a new coffee space in our home. Laying in bed this afternoon I was pondering a new way to hang these coffee cups. This is what I came up with. I took some wooden picture frames and spray painted them red. Once they dried I filled the frames with adorable scrapbook paper, cut to a 4x6 size. We drilled holes in the frames and screwed in door pulls, then attached them to the wall. It looks so cute over the coffee bar and is so very functional!

Life Mission Statement

So, here is my life mission statement...a document I had to create for class. I am so glad I did. I would encourage anyone to sit down and figure out what they are passionate about, and who God is calling them to be.

My Life Mission Statement:

I will use my gifts of teaching, and prophecy to become an effective wife, mother, mentor, minister and counselor. I will also use these gifts to encourage ministers to return to holiness while speaking the truth in love.

The Task:

This task is not an easy undertaking. Determining a mission for my life involves so much more than just an evaluation of self. Being married and having children means that my life and the mission God has called me to must also involve my husband and children. I am grateful to have their support. Without this support I could never fully embrace all God has called me to do and to be.

Reflection:

Understanding God’s call on my life was a joyous task. I have enjoyed looking back over the past several years and recalling those times where I was most fulfilled in ministry. What I have uncovered is that my life is made up of many components, all interconnected and all important. I cannot separate one part from the other, just as I cannot divide myself into many parts and still function.

My Calling:

In all honesty I am still not certain what God is going to do with me. My experience has proven that it is not until He says MOVE that I know where I am going. However, His call on my life is certain, and rather specific. My call to ministry is “to support people who are called to ministry”. Joyfully I accept this calling and over the last several years this has meant many things. I have served as a babysitter for a Children’s minister needing to work full-time during the summer. I have served as a Ministry Assistant in a church office, supporting the staff as needed. I have done life-coaching with several students seeking to solidify God’s calling on their life. I have worked alongside those called to Pastoral Ministry as they prepared sermons and helped Youth Ministers prepare for camp. I have been a sounding board for many Seminary students as they wrestled with their calling, and their purpose. I have come alongside minsters and offered a listening ear and counsel as they worked through a difficult time in their ministries. Each of these experiences is individual, unique and very affirming in my call to ministry. It seems diversified because it is. Having a calling of this nature really allows me to find great joy in such a variety of things God has called me to do. Each of these tasks I plan to continue to participate in throughout the future. I want to be available to assist ministers and come alongside them in completing whatever tasks God calling them to carry out. A task I see as equally important, of not more so is the call to support my husband in his ministry to our family. His role as the leader of our family is one he takes very seriously. He leads us in devotion, spiritual formation, prayer, and much more. Although I am the one with the formal religious education, he is the one who is called to carry out the spiritual leadership in our home. I cannot take that role away from him and still be the woman of God I am called to be. Supporting my husband is not always a fun task, simply because it means that I have to speak hard truths to him as well, in the privacy of our time together. We have cried together, prayed together, and served together – all stemming from my husband’s leadership. His love for the Lord overflows into the love he shows me and our kids. I am supportive in the things God is calling him to do, and refrain from contradiction. This involves trust. My gifts of prophecy and teaching are also used in the home. These gifts allow me to support my husband with disciplining the children, and planning out activities for our family.

My Values and Who I am:

I am about restoration. Restoration comes when we are right with God, ourselves, one another. I am called to help bring about restoration in the Body of Christ. I am a wife, mother, student, friend, daughter, sister, mentor, minister and more. Each of these relationships is unique and individual, yet very interconnected. I embrace God’s calling on my life as a teacher and a prophet. I want to be someone worth knowing. This has little to do with me, but more to do with the God I serve. I want to point people toward God so that they too might experience the restoration that comes through a relationship with the Creator. I want to be a person of integrity, someone trustworthy and wise. I want to be a person from whom others seek counsel, and I want to be discerning when it comes to people and the will of God. I want to be a lover of people, all people, regardless of how they treat me. I want to be a leader, someone worth following.

A Lasting Legacy:

The greatest legacy I could ever leave is an impact on the Kingdom of God. I hope to participate in the restorative work of the church through ministering to those in ministry and calling them back to holiness. I want to know my work in the church has impacted lives, and made the church a healthier place, emotionally and spiritually. I want to be a mom who sets an example for her children by loving them and their father properly. I want to be a wife who serves her husband joyfully, and I want to have a marriage worth emulating. I want to have a God-fearing marriage. I want to have a family that communicates with one another. I want to have children and a husband who respect me. I want to have a home where people feel loved, cared for, and welcome. I want to be a woman of God who leads younger women in the ways of the Lord. I want to have a mentor, and be a mentor. I want to have children who love the Lord, and me. I want to have space to breath and relax in my day. I want a schedule which will allow me to redeem the time, and make the most of every moment. I want to be fully present. It would be my great joy to look back at the end of my life and see these things have happened.

Dreams, Goals, and Visions:

My dream and my passion is to eventually establish an organization allowing Ministers and their families an opportunity to be counseled in times of crisis. I see myself counseling ministers, and families of ministers through crisis –both in the church and in the family. It is my hope that through this counseling we will have healthier ministers and lay leaders in the church, making the church itself healthier. I see myself using the gift of prophecy to call ministers to return to holiness, and seek God again. I dream of meeting with ministers and their families from all over the world to share the love of Christ, and encourage them through crisis. I plan to start a non-profit organization, and a foundation specifically designed to meet the needs of ministers and their families. I will have pastoral staff, and counseling staff as well as those gifted in hospitality and encouragement. I will partner with an existing Bed & Breakfast, or build one, to house these families over the course of a week or a weekend. They will enjoy fellowship with one another, times of prayer, fasting, counseling, and encouragement. They will spend time with other ministry families who are also going through crisis. It is so important for individuals to know they are not alone in their struggles. 1 Peter 5:9 says, “Resist him (The devil), standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” (NIV) This verse will serve as an anchor for the ministry provided there.

Leading myself before leading others:

I respect greatly the work of Tim Elmore. He has written several books on leadership, but those I am most drawn to are the “Habitudes” Series. These amazing and short books focus on the art of leadership. The series is broken into four distinct categories: The Art of Self Leadership, The Art of Connecting with Others, The Art of Leading Others, and finally, The Art of Changing Culture. This progression is something I have personally developed into my leadership lifestyle. I find it imperative that I know myself, and how to become disciplined before ever entering into a discipleship relationship with others. If I am not in the Word, I have no business counseling from it. If I am not praying, and seeking God’s direction, I have no business telling others how to live. Finally, if I am not spending time in God’s presence, I have no business loving others, because it will certainly not be out of an overflow. Once I have learned how to lead myself, I will be better suited to develop relationships with others, and eventually become a leader among them.

The impact:

I hope that the wisdom and discernment God has given me can be used to benefit the Kingdom. I have already seen how God uses these gifts to change the lives of those around me. Through the gift of prophecy I am able to speak words into the lives of individuals. I see the power that comes from a simple word. In addition, I am able to offer wisdom, grounded in scripture to individuals seeking advice. I am blessed with a great range of life experience from which to advise as well. Although I would not expect my great contribution to be known on a world-wide scale, I do, however, anticipate impacting one life at a time over the course of a life-time in hopes of having a world-changing impact. My heart, above all things is for the Church. I love everything about the Church, and believe if those who minister to the congregation are healthy - emotionally, physically, and most of all spiritually - our congregations will be stronger and healthier as well. This is my calling, and God’s mission for my life.